* Ara Baliozian's latest book, PAGES FROM MY DIARY (1986-1995), is distributed by Armenian Reference Books Co., POBox 231, Glendale, Ca 91209, Tel. (818) 504-2550.
Shant Norashkharian has full authorization from Ara Baliozian to reprint any of his works/writings on the Internet/World Wide Web.
"We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything for nothing."At the age of twelve I lost my faith and with it my ability to pray; but if I ever relearn how to pray, I would say: O Lord, let me be satisfied with what I have even if it amounts to very little. I was nothing and I will return to nothingness; let me therefore be satisfied with nothing and be happy with anything that is better than nothing, including pain and degradation. Give me the strength to accept all misfortunes except those that are inflicted by human greed, stupidity, ignorance, and ambition: because to accept them would mean promoting evil and collaborating with the forces of darkness.
The devil is always ahead of us. Doubt him and he will convince you that he doesn't exist. Acknowledge his existence and he will convince you he is everywhere but within you. Acknowledge his existence within you and he will assume the disguise of an angel.
Beautiful thoughts beautifully expressed: that's how most philistines define
literature.
Literature is struggle.
Countless writers have died to make of literature what it is. To confuse
literature with some kind of polite chitchat at a cocktail party in a suburb
is worse than a lie; it is a betrayal.
I make a list of our ablest contemporary intellectuals and I shiver to think what would happen if I were to live in a country with one of them as Minister of Culture. The fact that I live in a place that is beyond their reach is to me a constant source of comfort and joy.
History books are people's efforts to come to terms with their own past by
falsifying it systematically in order to make it more palatable.
Underdog nations falsify their past by ascribing their decline to others and
by portraying themselves as innocent victims of predatory nations.
Top dog nations falsify their past by covering up their acts of plunder and
piracy.
As crimes against humanity go, we Armenians may well be the least guilty
nation on earth, but we are guilty all the same of many petty crimes against
one another as well as crimes of cowardice, betrayal, and collaboration with
the enemy.
A reader writes: "I am fed up with our newspapers. All they print is pictures
of bishops and millionaires. We brag about our culture but all we can talk
about is our aghababas and imams having a good time at banquets - celebrating
what? Themselves! - what else?"
I should like to see one of our intellectuals writing with such honesty and
courage.
When the Athenians arrested, tried, and executed Socrates, they did not say he is undermining our authority," but "He is offending the gods." Nothing comes easier to a man of authority than to identify himself with God and view himself as His sole representative on earth.
Again and again we are told if it weren't for our bosses, bishops, and
benefactors, we would have no churches, no schools, no community centers, no
culture, no identity, and no future. What we are not told is that our
churches are run by wheeler dealers, our schools cannot even teach our
children to speak Armenian, our community centers have become shish kebab and
pilaf joints, our writers behave like spineless yes-men, our culture is
debased, our identity has become a source of embarrassment to most decent
Armenians, and our future is far from certain.
We are a living example of the dictum that says, Money can't buy everything
even in an environment where everything has a price.
Let us not be deceived by abundance. An accumulation of footnotes does not make a masterpiece. A large collection of information does not amount to knowledge. And a vast quantity of gold does not spell happiness.
What's dangerous is not corruption, but corruption that is not exposed, and when exposed it is not acknowledged; so that no one resigns, no one is fired, no one is impeached. This type of permanent institutionalized corruption is such a potent obstacle to progress that even if we had all the gods on our side, we would be unable to move a fraction of an inch towards improving our condition.
How to explain the irrelevance of our contemporary literature? My guess is,
some time in their formative years, our writers and versifiers were exposed
to the philistine theory that says, the function of literature is to say
profound things about noble subjects. Homer sang of gods and heroes,
Shakespeare of kings and princes, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky of mighty
passions...Since there is nothing noble, heroic, or mighty about our present
condition, it follows that it must be avoided or ignored. One cannot produce
great literature by writing about petty problems and pusillanimous
characters.
This is the only way to explain why our writers continue to write about
sunsets and our cultural organizations continue to sponsor seminars on
Khorenatsi and Naregatsi... as the nation slides deeper into the quicksands
of decline and degeneration.
Chinese saying: "If a man, sitting alone in his room, thinks the right thoughts, he will be heard thousands of miles away."
Last night in a dream someone handed me a piece of paper with the following
message: "Instead of criticizing others, you should have a dream of your own
and work towards its realization."
And the first thought that occurred to me when I opened my eyes was: I too
have a dream. I dream that some day our dreamers will not be at the mercy of
butchers of dreams.
A political party is nobody's property. Its sole function is to serve the people - all of the people and not a fraction of it. As a matter of fact, the very survival of a political party as an institution depends on its ability to convince the people that it is dedicated to serving their interests. The moment a group of individuals say, this or that political party is "our thing" (literally "Cosa Nostra" in Italian), they become a criminal gang.
I ask a friend from Yerevan: "Is any of the help from America reaching the
people in Armenia?"
"Yes," he replies, "and it's making a select few very rich."
"What are the chances of this select few being caught and hung?" I ask next.
"None while I am alive. After that, it's hard to say."
"Another friend who has just returned from a visit to Yerevan, tells me: "In
seventy years the situation may become normal but not before."
"That's exactly what our crooks and profiteers are counting on too - seventy
years of abundance.
People whose experience of poverty is based on hearsay, think of it as the
total absence of all luxuries. But the absence of luxuries is the least
offensive thing about poverty. Poverty, real poverty, means constant
uncertainty and anxiety over the future, also fear, humiliation, degradation,
despair...
There is a kind of silence that says nothing; and then there is a kind of silence that speaks volumes. Silence is as eloquent as its source. Don't look for wisdom in the silence of an imbecile.
In Chinese mythology, the god of writers and gamblers is one and the same.
That makes perfect sense because to be a writer and hope to survive is a
gamble.
In Armenian mythology, as far as I know, writers don't enjoy the protection
of a god; which may explain why anyone may abuse and exploit them with
impunity.
I think we should have a Talaat Pasha medal and award it annually to those among us who have contributed most to our decline as a nation.
Some of my readers have described me as a prophetic voice. That to me is just about the saddest commentary on our community life; because it means that we have fallen so low that to qualify as a prophet all one has to do is to state the obvious.
After reading in one of our weeklies the venomous exchange of letters between two bishops (letters in which there is talk of criminal conduct, embezzled funds, and hired assassins, among other things), I wonder: Why should anyone want to see these gentlemen united? If they can do so much harm divided, how much more harm will they do when united? If they can expose so much dirt divided, how much more dirt will they cover up when united?
Undeniable proof of celebrity in America: to publish a bestselling book without having written a single line.
Copyright 1996 by Ara Baliozian
Ara Baliozian does not have e-mail, but snail mail can be sent to 124 Peter St., Kitchener, Ont N2G 3K2, Canada.
ARI (ARMENIAN REFORM INSURGENCE)